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~ 1 ~
To your rich treasure, my plundered heart you add,
Enslave it to the accumulations of your ware
That it a trinket among your priceless pearls,
Hides from your view; claims little of your care
But when your Gold reduces with spent time,
Leaving you poor with all your treasure lost
That morsel left will be this heart of mine
Paying a high price for so small a cost
For yet the pureness of true love remains
When all the glitter of false wealth are grains.
~ 2 ~
If ill pains my deeds have given you,
That you have felt what you have given me
You've danced with hell with the very few
And been so blind as I who could not see
There is always fault both sides do overlook
By self blame; or that of one another
That writes comparable chapters in our books
That such blame forgiveness often smothers.
Then leave in past, the past, where it should be
That I can comfort you; as you can me.
~ 3 ~
I to a winter's day take one of summer
Your margin sun the element of my test
That I am warmed on that day as on no other
Yet, might I survive, the errors of such quest.
Once viewed the autumn leaves in falling
Describe a different pattern on the ground.
My heart is silent yet is loudly calling
To find acceptance for the gain it's found.
But do I reach too late for my desire
In my repair to die in fruitless fire?
~ 4 ~
I offer no bonds, for a twain to tether,
For so strong a knot I cannot hope to tie
Your clime is that of ever changing weather
Born free to live, or yet a captive die!
But lend me moments of your precious time
When I in need of you, and you of me
Would from such pleasures so divine
Cope with loves absence to a small degree
That we could love; for yet I love you still,
And I've no thought that bares you any ill
~ 5 ~
If my outer countenance reveals no sun
'Tis concealed the light of my true heat
For all that I had gathered now is gone
For I fear the frail construction of repeat
Yet my eyes ever glow with adoring gaze
When they to scan your profile once again
Destroy the rueful particles of sad haze
To wallow in the splendour of my claim
And I transport the memory of your kiss
Into a gracious valley of loving bliss.
~ 6 ~
I fixed my gaze upon a splendid rose
Fresh in bloom and dipped in morning dew
So crimson red and sweet in graceful pose
But not a petal could I compare with you
And if to beauty, beauty yet could add
Greater charm than that of loving prose
Such visage my heart would make so sad,
That so sweet a flower so wild grows
Yet ever so fleet, 'tis so fast you flee
Most of your pollen brushed off on me.
~ 7 ~
Though to life's volumes we lend our eye to scan
We still but learn by trial in our own vein
Though we but learn to error less than twice
'Tis worthless if that chance does not come again
For is not man, as man so shamed by fault
Worth some fair trust to refrain from fault again
Why lock the palace doors with keyless bolt
When he but once forgiven renews no blame
Thereto deprived of his devoted love
He's claimed a vulture when he is but a Dove.
~ 8 ~
How would I picture you if I could paint;
What hues upon your portrait would I mass?
Would my devoted brush reveal a saint
Or yet in folly allow such wonderment to pass?
I cannot paint but yet I tend an art
That would surpass the most famous artists' frame
For where your portrait hangs is in my heart
There painted by a love that has no shame
If my mind, in sketch of you is pure
Such thoughts bring joy, my loneliness to cure.
~ 9 ~
You will not die when death to you doth come
Though I'm first dust, you will forever live
Though your sweet name survives with your dear son
And your beauty in your lovely daughters live
Your heart and soul and your immortal brow
Will unrivalled live in this your poet's muse
In splendour then as it is splendid now
Your who you are forever with life thus fused
For how could such as you just fade away
When such beauteous grace was meant on earth to stay!
~ 10 ~
Goodbye my love; I cry as you depart
My life is so fruitless without your loving care
The echoes of my painfully dying heart
Resound the agonies you unknowingly put there
Yet selfish woe is this for I, to shame,
Must think it truth that I cause this despair
For to you my love it seems I've caused you pain
That is my regret – my own electric chair
Thus I retreat from where I fear to tread,
To love you yet with ever bowing head.
~ 11 ~
It is true the brave are firstly timid
That the strong are firstly weak
As from errors wisdom becomes more vivid
And the mute need not a voice to speak!
And love, unparalleled in the human heart
Is still the finest gift on Earth
For no greater thing could one impart
Than that of love of the purest worth
Then I've been timid and I've been weak
Now I am so mute I've no need to speak
~ 12 ~
To what deep thought would my poet's dull mind delve
When such illusive thought has phantom shape?
'Tis such a thought that my ill muse must shelve
As its description from my blunt pen escapes.
How do I write of your beauty in a verse;
A beauty that with beauty lacks compare?
Like a palace coach beside a dreary hearse
Like a flower beside a flower that is not there
I can't on paper write what none can read,
Though from this phantom image I can't be freed
~ 13 ~
I give to you what you have taken away
But this, your taking is your return to me
That by my giving I myself repay
By retaining that which giving gives to me.
My what I am is yours to love or scorn
For I but see as your sweet eyes direct
Thus is my joy upon your pupils borne
Filled with blind light but filled with true respect
Thus I for joy, turn loneliness away
When through your eyes I see a summer's day
~ 14 ~
If you are content to claim in naked arms
That man who says he loves you more than me
Then I must grant him all your pleasant charms
But you'll be looking through eyes that cannot see,
For when he's claimed the prize he really seeks
When he is fat from your generous plate
It will be a different man who coldly speaks
And what you thought was love will turn to hate
My heart predicts, yet my lips are still
For you would not hear if I described you any ill.
~ 15 ~
Perhaps in telling me the truth, you lie
For your every lie is still the truth to me
As is your faultless beauty; faulty sky,
Yet only unblemished heavens do I see
If I surmount you perfect in life's realm
'Tis but the blindness of devotion deep inside
For you are the master who controls the helm
Of my love's ship that sails more sail than pride
Thus if the truth with tarnishes you gird
It will still appear to me as honest word
~ 16 ~
Is it that by the ant-lion I am lured;
By the soft depression of your gracious womb?
Or do I see such reason so absurd
That I would continue love in frigid room?
Why do you sprinkle roses in my trail
When from such trail you know I cannot turn?
Is it your alternate place when efforts fail
Or something more that you have yet to learn?
No, 'tis not my hearts desire to gain your ware
Nor is it yours to seek with failed care
~ 17 ~
'Tis folly that I posses you in my mind
Without your wish to grant possession so
And yet in vain my heart will never find
A substitute that could so warmly glow
Oh Father Time lend speed to your slow trade
That with time's passage this day could be next year
Then I would know of what this hope is made
If today I shed tomorrows hopeless tear
That I will wait as a slave waits to be free
With silent hope that you will wait for me
~ 18 ~
When I to weeping, when I sorrow most
I lend my heart to our unhappy past
And greet the frosty morn my winter host
Still clinging to a love that did not last
I tend the thought that time does not impair
The flavour of a fruit so purely born
But stokes its fire with ever growing care
And blunts ill memories of the poison thorn
Then I find comfort from your memory still
In recalling a love that we may yet fulfil.
~ 19 ~
Even knowing when the heavenly flower lies
Even knowing when its fragrant petals are bad
Still this man, this poison plant desires
And finds but hell when this fair plant is had
How foolishly the learned brain of man
Ignores the woe that hungry women give
Lessons leaned since human life began
But yet, he still without her will not live.
For there lies hell in the wanton woman's womb
The tender lure that disguises callous doom
~ 20 ~
The turtle night frustrates my anxious heart
With fleeting glimpses into yesterday
Those tiny thoughts remain as hope departs
Scattered like failed seeds along the way
And even though the rainbow of my sky
Has faded long ago in Devil's cloud
I cling to those small thoughts and wonder why
My only joys are those that have gone by
Those sweet thoughts frustrated minds do dream
Disguise the absence of the vanished queen
~ 21 ~
Never look upon me as your foe
Although my battle might be with your heart
That I would ambush you where ere you go
Don't see my skirmish as an austere art
I retreat for yours is the stronger line
My love for you, the weakest point a field
I'm massacred – your treasures can't be mine
For your hard heart knows not how to yield
'Tis death; your lances delver a fatal blow
And why I die, my love you'll never know
~ 22 ~
Though my sweet thought must share your image still
With those who sleep beside you in your bed
There is no thought that can pure vision kill
Of you in my heart's eye unshed
Though my painful look may demean my mirth
And my cruel mind oft wish you every ill
My slander would be of little worth,
For yet, my love, my love I love you still
For though I share with you your numerous mates,
My hopeless heart accepts it as my fate
~ 23 ~
If it's your wish to clothe yourself in garments
Of false texture that their appearance lies
That soiled from your love, nests many varmints
A suggestion though a truth that you despise
Your anger will not change the real you
Nor will it blind my knowledge of the truth
For sweetheart though you resent the wrongs you do,
Your own actions are your own real proof
Then have your men, and they will feast from you
As weeds do feed from every morning dew
~ 24 ~
It is good that I had not a child with you
My own, my blood, my likeness born again
For you would have taken that from me too,
That I would hate the mention of your name
All that you touch, must you possess or shame
All those you pretend to love, eventually destroy
Is there no other love than your self gain
None but the selfish thoughts that you employ
Like as not this verse will spark your fire
But such as it is, the truth is not a liar.
~ 25 ~
Please love me in a mild way
That I am needed by someone
That I can forget my yesterday
And know that what is gone is gone.
How soon the flower loses hue
How soon to fade from sweeter life
For it is true a bright star dies
Long before its light goes out
'Tis my dear hope while yet I cry
That if one can weep one will not die.
~ 26 ~
If ever I could yet renew
The most precious moments of my life
I would still be loving you
And you would be my darling wife
If ever in your life you're loved
No one will love you more than me
Yet if he is by you also loved
Then I bow out most graciously
For your life's joy is my desire
Your music played from happy lyre
~ 27 ~
Is it your wish that I must dream of you;
That I miss sleep through your ill desire;
That you decide the fate of what I do –
Fan the dying flames of my hearts fire?
Is it your wish that I should paint your face
With luminous paint that in my darkness shines?
No! 'Tis my deep love that would your image trace
That fills my mind with a dozen different rhymes
No! Yours is thought for someone not like me
For I'm love's slave, and you of love are free.
~ 28 ~
I know your thoughts are not with me tonight
But mine are yours, if ere they are comforting
Although I deliver but a feeble light
Its warmth is yours, however fortifying
I'd like to think when your bright light is low
That you can reach and find my trusting hand
And from it renew at least a pale glow
That helps you in some small way to stand
I can't undo the wrongs of a bitter past
But I can hope that I was your very last.
~ 29 ~
Out of office you frequent where I hide
Where I survive in worlds of yesterday
Disrupting what frailties retain my pride
That I transform from blossoms to decay
Here though I rue, I yet do tend a smile
That probing visage cannot with truth assess
And though you linger here for just a while
I'm grieved again by loves recurring stress
Though I find heaven with every glimpse of you
'Tis sad that its but pain that taints my view
~ 30 ~
For my defects, do not think ill of me
For I did not wish such defects upon myself
Nor did I wish my love to dwell on thee
Nor the need to reap from your sweet inner wealth
Yet here alone I dwell in your deep scorn
Self convicted like all who try and fail
Wondering if, with such self destruction born,
That yesterdays Rose will yet tomorrow pale
For I have lost the vital view of life
For I have loved but will never wed a wife.
~ 31 ~
Even though your sun to me is lost
And your sweet breath no longer warms my cheek
And though your thoughts of me are bitter frost
And of my worth you yet degrading speak,
It remains my waste to ever dream of you
My vain concern of what it makes of me
For in my heart, if yet my heart can view,
You remain my love as ever you will be
'Tis sad such love remains a frozen flame
That I am by my own fools purpose slain
continued…
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