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My Disease - Terminal Uniqueness.
Diagnosed when I was three
By the girl around the corner
She said, "You don't look like me
And you don't talk like the neighbors
You have got such slanted eyes
My friend says that you're from China
We hear your father is a spy"
When I met my diagnostician
I was three and she was four
Mothers both had named us Robin
She continued to explore
"Even though our names are Robin,
You are not the same as me...
I am older - and an expert
It is very plain to see
And Just so there is no confusion
I will call you Robin B
Sit right there and I'll explain it
Though I'm four it's clear to me
That your hair is short and curly
Mine is long and very straight
When you eat - it's complicated
Milk and meat on different plates
But my Mom says you are gifted
God gave you a high IQ
I play ball while you are reading
My Dad thinks you're a Chinese Jew
I was born in this great country
It is called the USA
Can you tell me where you come from?
If you're Russian, we can't play!"
This upset me - I can tell you
That's when I began to cry
"I was born up on a mountain
My dads calls it Mount Sinai."
And I assure I'm not rushing
But I think that I should go
'Cause my mom is making dinner
But I'll try and walk real slow"
So I walked around the corner
Thinking it was such a shame
That I had been born so different
Than the girl with the same name
Stare into my bedroom mirror
A ritual that goes on for years
I detest that strange reflection
And a voice inside me sneers...
"Why are you so strange = so different
You're the kid they like to tease
Everything you do backfires
When all you want to is please
And your IQ doesn't help you
At the test you always freeze"
I am not diagnostician
Not at three and not today
But since then I have felt different
Learned to slowly back away
Being different - a strength or weakness?
I feel ugly - I'm called vain
"You are special" - Don't believe it
But smart enough to hide the pain
As I age - I here a saying...
"It is lonely at the top"
Kids are cruel and grown-ups crueler
People never seem to stop
Hitting bottom as its upside
There's no place left to really go
All I ever wanted really - was
Someone to say that they know!
And they understand the feeling
What it means to be outside
How you never really fit in
Even though you've always tried
To be friendly to be funny
To be just one of the crowd
But your timing's off by seconds
And you always speak too loud
Can't keep quiet when there's silence
Choose the wrong dress for the dance
You pretend that you don't see it
When they shake there heads and glance
Finally you just stop trying
You stop hoping, 'cause you know
Who gets picked for the slow dances
And you're glad the lights are low
No one sees that you are crying
Tears pour from those almond eyes
Russian - Jewish - Green eyed Monster
If you could you'd compromise
Tired of that wall you hold up,
You're not even in the way
It's a good time to get going
No one spies your get away
You are different - always have been
You will never be a "THEY"
I go home and tell my mother
"It was fun, the dance was great"
"That's nice dear - I'm glad your happy
Get some sleep it's very late"
I stare at the bedroom ceiling
Then a voice call out to me...
"Though our names might both be Robin
You are not the same as me
It is plain that you are different
I will call you Robin B"
I wake up - and it's much later
Years have past - what? Forty-three
Just a dream but I still hear it
When that voice calls out to me
I look in my bedroom mirror
I love what looks back at me
Being different made me stronger
"Hi there- Robin Amy B"
Sometimes Garbo slips inside me
And I want to be alone
Sometimes I'm a closet Gidget
Who keeps listening for the phone
I won't tell you my whole story
Why I think unique is good
You may say we all are equal
I know that I never could
Be the same as everybody
Now, I never would disguise
All those things that make me special
Or my lovely Almond Eyes.
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